I came home from dropping off Barret at work this morning and this is what I was greeted with!  Coleman and Brantley did a "Food Network Breakfast Cookoff!"  Brantley's menu consisted of homemade blueberry muffins and grits.  Coleman's menu was chocolate chip pancakes and cinnamon apples on the side.  The kitchen looked like a bomb went off, but it was so fun to see all that they did all on their own!  Both meals were good but the judges, Carter and Truett, picked Coleman's meal as the winner!  

Congratulations Coleman!

It looks like the next cookoff is for lunch so they are going through all of my cookbooks, trying to find the perfect menu items.  I will keep you posted!

A little while later, the four of them were found vegging in
our bed, watching TV.  Aaahhh, summer!

Barret, who has been hard at work today, got his first official paycheck today!  So proud of him!  He tithed and then deposited the rest!  What a good boy!  College is coming fast!

Today I saw a bumper sticker on a car that irritated me.  It said:

" 'So and So politician' only cares about the rich and affluent."

Seriously, dude?!?  You are driving down a nicely paved road in America in your shiny Ford F-150, talking on your cell phone!  YOU ARE AFFLUENT!!!  Aaaahhh!!!

Barret has his Driver's Permit and is almost 16 years old.  So why when he asked to walk to the Barber and back yesterday, did it cause me a little heart palpitation?!?  The Barber Shop is down across the street/highway from our neighborhood.  Of course, I had to remind Barret of the highway and to be really careful when crossing it!  (I know, I am a little pathetic!)  I don't think I am alone in the parental feeling of fear and worry about our children.  Some of it is based on reality and some is created by the media.  I am just admitting it.  I have to start letting go.  When I think about the things we did and places we went when we were 16!  (Nothing too bad or crazy, because as Joe teases me, I never did anything bad/wrong when I was a child!  Which is not too far from being true, especially if any of my kids are reading this!)

Then Coleman wanted to walk to the Barber Shop today.  (Come on people, can you let me adjust to these things slowly!  Do you have to to pile on all at the same time?!?)  And again, I had to check my Mama Bear status.  Is this a test?   I finally prayed.  These kids, all 5, are all God's children first.  He has given them to us for a time.  He loves them even more than I could ever love them.  Each day of their lives is already known to Him.  I can pretend to keep and protect them, but He is the one keeping and protecting.  He is in control.  I just have to do my part in raising them to be responsible.  And walking to the Barber Shop by oneself at (almost) 16 and 14 is probably a very small start.  We (I) have a ways to go!

At bed time tonight Carter, Truett and I had some good conversation about their Ethiopian parents.  Did they have a TV, yes they did.  Do they have water?  I don't know.  But if they don't have it in their house (which I don't think they did) they would have a very walkable distance to a well.  Did they have any animals?  I didn't see any.  Most people in Ethiopia don't have "pets" like we do.  They may have a goat or cow that they will eat or sell, but not a dog (woosha) like Winston.  Carter wondered if they had a polio shot, like him--he has a shot mark on his arm, like people my age or older have.  I am not sure, but would guess that they did, if he had one.  Do they have a refrigerator?  I don't guess that they do, but again am not really sure.  We didn't get to see the whole house, just the room that we sat in.  They probably go to the store or to a street seller and get what they need each day.  We prayed for them and the boys went to bed.

I wish I had had a little more time to spend with the Shonga's.  I am feeling a bit of that lately.  How do they spend their days?  What are their jobs.  (I can't remember if I already said this but am saying it in case I didn't.  But Rahel is working as an AIDS awareness person in the community.  She was getting training while we were there.  I am glad that she is able to use that situation for good.)  What would a typical day be like?  What was it like with Carter and Truett there?  So many unknowns.  Maybe someday, when we take the boys back we will have all of the questions answered.  

Today was the kid's dentist appointments.  All 5.  We are quite the spectacle when we go in that office!  There was a mom I knew from school there.  We hadn't seen each other all summer.  I went over and talked with her for a little bit and of course because I can't talk about much else these days, I told her about Ethiopia and how we met Carter and Truett's parents.  Whitney was so sweet and listened to the whole thing.  I of course was bawling, which is the new me, apparently.  (Also, remember, it was 5 years ago around this time, in this office when I sat and talked to Wyndy, who was heading to Ethiopia to pick up Luke and that is what started this whole thing!)  Whitney's kids got done and she let them go to the car while I finished, because you know I can't tell the elevator version of any story!  Let alone THIS story!  I have to tell the details.  And she listened the whole time.  She had probably never seen me so emotional before, so maybe she was worried about me.  But even though I am very emotional, I hope that I am also conveying that I am okay.  (Not sure the tears are helping my case with that concept, but I really am.  It's hard to put into words.)  But Whitney finally had to leave and she encouraged me to maybe write a book or something.  (At least that is what I took away from it.)  Hmm...maybe something.  I guess writing it here is my version of a cheap book.  I will have to start praying about that one!  I love reading books!  Not sure how to write one!

Then later on in the day, J'Len's Mom called to check in.  Which was weird, because I hadn't talked to her since we got J'Len's braces off.  She asked about Ethiopia, so of course I had to tell her the story over the phone, and cried some more.  She reiterated something that I think both Joe and I have been feeling is that we just should wait awhile before we try and "do anything."  Just wait on the Lord.

J'Len sounds like he is doing good.  He is working out and staying fit.  He will stay with his Mom this year and attend public school in Gastonia.  I hope that goes well.  I hope that some seeds were planted here that he can take with him in life.

I am all out of sorts as I am telling my stories, so I need to go back a few days to July 11.  Brantley had a friend over and they played non-stop.  They made forts in the upstairs hallway, the bonus room and Brantley's room.  I don't think there was an unused pillow or blanket in the house!  They jumped on the trampoline and baked a cake.  A good time was had by all.

Laney, Carter, Truett and Brantley in the hallway fort

Carter even has a fan in his fort in the
bonus room

Brantley and Laney made a cute teal and purple
zebra patterned cake.  I can't put the picture
with the finished product because of
Brantley's hair.  (She requested I didn't
put it on here.)  It is a picture that I told her
she would look back on some day and ask why I let her wear
her hair like that!  It looks like a huge lion's
mane.  I try to get her to do it, that
is the problem.  It isn't me, it's her!  :)

 

Back to today, after church, we went to the neighbors pool for a little while.  We haven't been there much all summer and she has asked us over several times to come over.  They were out of town and told us again to go and use it, so we did.  It was kind of overcast and warm.  There was a giant frog (or toad--I still don't know how to tell the difference) in the bottom of the pool.  Carter wouldn't get in the pool because it was too cold and because he was eating popcorn!  (Who eats popcorn at a pool?  Carter!)  Truett kept stepping in the water, but was not much help in the frog/toad catching adventure.  I observed from the deck!  Informing everyone of the frog/toads whereabouts.  That left Brantley for the actual frog/toad catching challenge.  It took a while but finally she caught it!  She is my hero!

He's a good sized frog/toad

I sent the picture to our neighbors and was laughing that Brantley saved the huge frog/pool from their pool.  She texted back, ha ha!  Glad you are using the pool!  Ha ha!  You guys are funny! Then all of the sudden, Winston started sniffing around and we all just kind of watched.  I thought for sure as soon as the frog/toad jumped, Winston would get spooked and leave it alone.  (Do you see where this story is going?!?)  That is not at all what happened.  The frog/toad moved, Winston growled at it and chased it behind a pot, we were yelling at Winston to "STOP!" but he didn't and quick as a flash, he grabbed the poor frog/toad and shook it before we could get over to him!  The poor frog/toad  had teeth marks in him with a gut or two coming out, according to Carter.  The frog/toad was obviously supposed to die today.  It was his time.

I then texted my neighbor that the "rescued frog/toad" just got killed by Winston.  She texted me back that her whole family was rolling on the floor, laughing!  And something about how funny our family is.  (Glad we are here for you!)  Then we packed up our stuff and promptly went home.  Something about the frog/toad death kind of put a damper on things.  (Winston, you bad frog/toad killer!)  :)

I made a Facebook page for Carter and Truett where maybe we will connect with the uncle in Ethiopia, but still not sure yet.  I won't connect it to anyone but the uncle.  But not sure whether to do it or not.  We are still thinking.  

This morning, after Joe and Paul played "old man basketball," we met Paul and Wyndy for breakfast.  I am pretty sure that telling our story blew their minds.  They just thought we were going to show them a few pictures of zebra and such and that would be it.  They also have a son adopted from Ethiopia, so of course, it hit a little closer to home for them.  They were crying and taking in the whole experience, the whole trip.  I hope that some day they can go and experience Ethiopia, the country of Luke's birth.  We sat and talked and looked at pictures at that table until the restaurant started serving lunch!  (We are definitely spending time on relationships since returning!)

Wyndy is the one I sat in the dentist office with 5 years ago who was just going to get Luke, their son.  She was the trigger God used to start me thinking about Ethiopian orphans.  (She didn't mean to, she just told me her story and it was like a wildfire in my heart.)

The Bonesteel's are also who we had been talking to about that nasty "Child Catcher" book and there is just this little nugget in me that thinks the author would probably put us in that category of Child Catcher's.  Carter and Truett's parents are alive.  And it is by disease and poverty that these children were put up for adoption and the "rich Americans" came in and "rescued" them.  Yuck!  I know that that is dark and not our reality, but from the world, someone who doesn't truly know us, know our family, know our intentions, that could be what it looks like.  And I have to keep coming to the light coming to the truth.  The parents knew what they were doing.  There are adopted kids in America who have living birth parents.  We responded to a need, we didn't create the need.  We were loved, so we loved.  Whew!

After an emotional time of talking and sharing, you can feel so drained.  I have been feeling drained (and emotional) a lot lately.

I had a quick lunch with a friend, Amy, who also has adopted children today.  Well, I learned my lesson from the other day.  I didn't order lunch today.  We just sat outside of Panera and talked.  Amy was refreshing to talk to.  She has two children adopted domestically and is in the process of adding two more children into their family through adoption.  (Her story is a God story as well, but I am not sure about sharing it because all things aren't official.)  We are on the Orphan Ministry at our church and I used to be in a prayer group with Amy, praying for her now children, so we go way back in the adoption world.

Amy gave me some insight on how girls/daughters are viewed in Kenya.  They are often committed at a young age to be married and there can be money and/or animals involved in the negotiations.  So there may be value in the Shongas keeping the daughter.  Or she could be a kind of caretaker to the parents.  Or maybe because they are on medicine, they feel that they can care for her.  Again, many questions with no answers and just trusting in God's plan in all of this.

It is humbling to share our story and hear how God is affecting the faith of our friends and family through it.  Very humbling.  Still processing.  Still overwhelmed to tears each time I tell the story.  Each time I see Rahel.  It breaks my heart.

Several people have asked, so I feel that I need to reiterate, my sadness is not a doubt or questioning sadness at all.  I know that I know that we were called by God to adopt Carter and Truett into our family.  And I know that I know that before going to Ethiopia this time, that God showed each person in our family, but most of all me that I had been and still am quite selfish.  That I get frustrated when things around the house don't go as I have planned or my kids don't act as I would want, or schedules get changed that inconvenience me.  It is often, if not most of the time about me.  (Sorry if I disappoint.)  And I am once again, being selfish in not liking the "new" story.  It is not the story that I wanted to tell.  But in and through the tears, I assure you that I know that I know that God's story is always the best story.  And that right now the thread, strings and mess of knots on the back of the tapestry, the backside that I keep looking at will someday reveal something more beautiful than I could ever ask or imagine, the front side.  The whole beautiful, perfect picture.  So I may keep crying for a while.  But I know that God will use this for His glory and for my good.

I heard a little bit of Focus on the Family today and I jotted down, "Make every day count."  So that is what I am trying to do.  To be a little more intentional with my family, my friends and people I cross paths with.  To be open, vulnerable and transparent.  To keep believing in God's plan in times of victory and times of questions.  We take so much for granted or I will say I do.  So many days I just go through the motions.  I can get caught up in the everyday-ness of life that I sometimes forget to really make the day count for something.  How am I making my life count?  Every day?  How am I making a difference?  An eternal difference?